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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Alonzo's Salvation

This is week 56 of the Saturday Wordzzle challenge. Anyone new to the process can refer back here to find out how it works. Oh my, oh my, oh my.... previous complaints about my choice of words pale in the face of this week's ten world challenge. What was I thinking? Where did these horrific words come from? Why, Lord, why did I pick them? I beg forgiveness from all of you who have had the courage to participate this week. It's one of those weeks when I wish I wasn't hosting because I could tip-toe quietly out of the room and skip the challenge.... BUT.... AGGGGGGGH! I HAVE to do it! Anyone want to volunteer some words for future weeks? Then I can be mad at someone else instead of myself.

The words for this week's ten word challenge were: partition, imagination, salvation, mirror image, green power, highway, roasting marshmallows, serial killer, autograph, cartography. Mini Challenge: cell phone, Big Mac, panther, legendary, poets corner

Alonso' Salvation

It was the Ides of March, 1988. Alonzo woke up late as usual. He could hear the melodious tones of the wind chime hanging behind the partition which separated his sleeping quarters from his office. He hit the snooze for just seven more minutes of glorious sleep. As he lay there in a twilight state, he allowed his imagination to soar. Late last night a dark haired, mysterious woman entered his office and pleaded for him to take her case. He played hard to get, even though he knew this case could be his detective agency's salvation. Man, did he need this case to solve his financial difficulties. Alonzo was much to prideful to accept her case without a fight. He continued to act nonchalant and uncommitted. He half heartedly listened to the horrendous details as he opened and sorted his mail. He even perused the 1960 issue of Cartography for the Novice.

"Mr. Alonzo, let me get to the point. My husband is a serial killer! He has also been diagnosed Paranoid Schizophrenic and Border-Line Personality Disorder. He is not an easy man to live with but he is a very, very wealthy old man." She crossed her legs and adjusted her revealing mini-skirt and smiled seductively at Alonzo. He ignored her and pretended to be engrossed in a thin boy across the street operating a green power washer to blast the paint off a dilapidated brick wall.

"Ahem, to continue with my story" she said curtly due to his inattention and obvious boredom of her plight. "Last weekend we were driving down Highway 01. He suddenly pulled the Benz over and said he wanted to roast marshmallows for me before I was gone. I laughingly said I wasn't going any where. He said that I was mistaken. That I would be murdered on St. Patricks' Day."

"He leaned in closer and stated that the voices in his head tell him to take a hostage on the eve of St. Patricks' Day and to offer her up as a sacrifice to the wee little leprechauns. He said that he has followed the voices demand for the last twelve years. I have just one more sacrifice and I will be exonerated." He coldly looked her in the face and said "You are my next and last victim. You are the mirror image of my twelve victims. After the Leprechauns sacrifice you, I will be able to autograph the contract and end the curse of the St. Patricks' Day serial killer."

I said in disbelief, "You've got to be out of your f****** mind. He just laughed, kissed me on the forehead and said Happy St. Patricks' Day sweetheart."

"So you see, Mr. Alonzo, I don't have much time. Can you help me?"

"Yes mam, I have a plan." Alonzo pulled out his cell phone, asked to speak to Big Mac, who was the legendary leader of the Purple Panthers located in the warehouse right next to the Poets Corner Tavern. Alonzo walked out of the room, whispering to Mr. Big Mac. He spoke so quietly that his client could not hear what his plan entailed.

When Alonzo came back into his office, he said "It has been taken care of. You have nothing to worry about. Go home and act like this was all a big joke. Meet me at Poets Corner Tavern at 9:45 P.M. on St. Patricks' Day. Bring a brief case with $1.75 million and we will be even."

"But what is your plan? How are you going to protect me? What are you going to do to my husband?" Alonzo smiled smugly and quickly left the room. She could hear him saying "If I tell you any more, then I would have to kill you. That would defeat your purpose." Alonzo glanced back at her and said "Trust me!" and then he left her sitting alone in his office looking confused and bewildered. To be continued......

Friday, March 20, 2009

Alonzo's Addiction

This is week 55 of the Saturday Wordzzle challenge. Anyone new to the process can refer back here to find out how it works. I thought these words were very difficult but once I got started I had kind of a good time with them. Still, I think I need to come up with a new system... or maybe therapy for my muse who seems to go a bit nuts when she spews out the new words every week. Anyway, looking forward to reading every one's offerings.
The words for this week's ten word challenge were: humanity, shadow, ricochet, wrong, pluralism, mathematics, person-hood, printing press, ink spot, choral society Mini Challenge: kingdom, take names, best seller, three times, inner demons

Alonzo woke up late that day after an overdose on chocolate the night before. He swore beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would never eat the whole box of chocolates again. His head was aching. He felt shooting pains ricochet through all the wrong parts of his body. He questioned his own humanity and why he continued to engage in self-destructive behavior.

"Why, oh why do I do this to myself when I know I'll feel like my head is being crushed by a very large printing press. I see whirling ink spots in front of my eyes. Oh, my very person-hood is being tested."

Alonzo thought back over the repeated times he had had a chocolate hangover. He prided himself on being open minded, even obsessively pluralistic. He never chided his friends who were alcoholics or drug addicts. "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Right?" As he did his mathematics to figure out this problem, the number of chocolate hangovers grew to unfathomable statistics. He knew he had to do something to put an end to his insane behavior. He wondered what in the world could produce the same effects of euphoria as chocolate.

He had seen a notice of a meeting of Chocolates Anonymous in the Sunday paper. He called his friend Willie Y. who suffered from the exact same affliction. Willie Y. agreed to meet him at St. Mark's Episcopal Church on Friday night at 8:00 p.m. The ladies of the Choral Society were meeting at the same place same time. As Alonzo walked past the group of lovely ladies singing their hearts out for God, he stopped dead in his tracks. Up in the choir loft in the very last row, he spotted a gorgeous yellow pussy cat with a tale nearly as grand as his. His eyes popped as he saw what she held in her hands. Instead of the bright red hymnal, she held a very large box of his very most favorite chocolates. It was love at first sight.

Alonzo coyly slipped into the choir loft and wooed the young yellow pussy cat into the stairwell.
After feeding each other chocolates until their bellies were full and the box empty, they left to go get a cup of coffee. Alonzo heard someone call his name. He turned around and there was Willie Y. with his hands on his hips. "What happened to you man?" Willie Y. asked.

"Well......(he hemmed and hawed)...I went around the block three times trying to find this damn church, and, uh, I came upon a grand Kingdom Hall where they were taking names and checking 'em twice, they were even giving out extra points if you had seen the best seller Chocolate."

Willie Y. just shook his head and walked away. He knew that Alonzo's inner demons had gotten the best of him. Who can resist a yellow pussy cat with a box of chocolates? Meowwww!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

My crazy world has actually been serene for the past 2 weeks that I've been staying with my sister, Pam, in Panola, Texas. I may stay a little longer. We've had fun hanging pictures, planting bulbs, riding the Rhino and taking pictures. I am grateful that she has introduced me to the blogging world and hope to learn how to access other bloggers. Candace

Friday, March 6, 2009

Today was an interesting day. Night owl self did not sleep but 50 minutes last night, so I was a little restless, silly, and giggly. I kept Pam in stitches with my fondness of odd items and their degree of cuteness. I found three silver cylinders on the kitchen table. They are so cute,
heavy, and cold. No one knows what they are or how they got there. Do you know what they are? Maybe something off a John Deere tractor? See Pam's blog.
I had accupuncture for the first time today and I feel wonderful. Hopefully I will sleep tonight after the needle in my head. Good night bloggers. I'm off to write a wordzzle,

Monday, March 2, 2009

In The Beginning....
Hi, My name is Candace but every one calls me Candy. I am soon to be 62 years of age and live in Louisiana. I have worked as a counselor/therapist for almost 40 years. I have recently retired with out the financial benefits of retirement. My 2 grand children are the passion in my life. Patrick is almost four and Gracie just turned one.
I entered my 1st worddrizzle this weekend and loved it. The feed back from others was wonderful. So I decided to start blogging. Hope to make you a blog friend. I look forward to hearing from you.

My Cottage in the Woods